I Couldn't Hear It

No wonder . . .

I was trying to hear God's Voice -- amidst the vacuum cleaner, the TV, the traffic outside. And the refrigerator!

It was there -- I just didn't know it.




After I started studying the Eckankar teachings, I wanted to hear the Sound Current that is so often written about. Apparently, it is one of the twin aspects of the Life Force, or Divine Spirit. And hearing it can change you forever.

That's what I wanted -- to be transformed! I figured that would fix me up.


All I Heard Was Noise

After school, I'd sit on the edge of my bed and try to calm myself. I'd try to look into the spiritual eye. I'd try to listen as Soul, inside myself. But believe me, this meditation thing just didn't come easy for me. I just wasn't the 'prayerful' type of person.

At first, I couldn't sit still for more than a few minutes. Typical teenager, my mind was racing on about this or that. How could I ever hear the Sound Current like that?

And worse, the noise in my house. My sister was always talking on the phone, or the TV was going out in the living room. My mom was bustling around the house with her chores.

For heaven's sake, I'm trying to have a spiritual experience here!

I had the door to my room shut -- but the more I tried to get quiet inside myself, the louder all the household noises became. I could hear the central air conditioning running. I could hear cars passing outside on the street.

I could even hear that low humming sound of the refrigerator in the kitchen. You know, how some low sounds carry so well, penetrating walls, underneath all the other noise in the house.

I'm not sure what I was expecting to hear of the Sound Current. But I was sure I'd know it when It came. I'd read about Sounds like a flute, or symphonic music, or bells and chimes. Regardless, I knew it was going to be glorious when I finally learned to hear it.


Why Monks Move to the Mountains

I had to do something about the distractions. My first solution was to sit on the floor in my closet and shut the door. I could still hear all the noise I mentioned above, but it was muffled somewhat. And quieter. It helped a little.

The worst thing was that low hum of the refrigerator. That reverberating sound seemed to penetrate the walls. And it seemed that refrigerator was running most of the day!

I had a few dollars in my wallet from mowing neighbors lawns. So the next time I was in K-Mart, I tried to find something to muffle these distracting noises. I needed extra help if I was to hear the Sound Current.

I couldn't find any ear plugs, but they did have some ear mufflers in the sporting goods section. The kind of ear protection hunters might use, shooting loud guns.

When I got home, I climbed into the closet. I pulled the door shut, then fumbled to get the ear mufflers on my head. Yes! That was an improvement. If I listened hard, I could still hear my sister's TV, but just barely. And mom's vacuum cleaner, but just barely.

But darn it, that low hum of the refrigerator wasn't diminished at all. It was so distinct, I couldn't get my mind off of it. I was frustrated. And angry. Disappointed mostly. How was I ever going to hear the Sound Current?

Now I knew why those monks liked to go far away and live in some cave up in the mountains. So that is was QUIET! So they could become aware of the spiritual dimensions without such distractions.

After awhile, my enthusiasm waned quite a bit. The rule was to practice 20 minutes a day. I didn't live up to that standard, but I tried a little each day. Who knows, maybe one day I'd get lucky or something?

I tried a few more things -- but try as I might, I couldn't solve the refrigerator's noise problem. I just got used to it. No matter how hard I tried, I never heard the Sound Current. Not once.

I blamed the refrigerator, of course.


Why It's Caught, Not Taught

To make a long story short --- down the road I went to college. That first year I was to live in a dormitory room. That means, a cinderblock-walled room with a sink, two desks, two closets, and a bunk bed.

My second day on campus, I waited for my roommate to go off to a class. I wanted to squeeze in my spiritual exercise while I had the chance.

I sat in my roommate's recliner chair that he'd brought from home. I closed my eyes, and got quiet inside myself. I did my best to ignore the distracting noise out in the hallway.

As I settled into myself, there it was again! That darn REFRIGERATOR! I couldn't escape that low humming sound, no matter how far I got from home!

But . . . . wait a minute. I wasn't at home. In fact, there was no refrigerator. I opened my eyes, and there was nothing in the cement-walled room that could produce a low humming sound.

If it wasn't coming from something in the room, where was that humming sound coming from?

It hit me like a ton of bricks:

-- Could that sound I've been hearing for the last two years be the spiritual Sound Current I've sought all along?

-- Could the sound I've been trying to ignore be important?

Oh, and then there was this little tiny speck of blue light that was always floating in my peripheral vision. I thought that was just an overactive retina or something. It kept distracting me in my efforts to see the Spiritual Light. Surely, the Spiritual Light would be a glorious techni-color light show?

Nope! In my case, the Light and Sound of God was simply a deep humming sound and a tiny blue light.

Why was the blue light so tiny? I did get an answer on that later on: That was all I could handle. Humbling, to say the least.


Lost, But Now Found

So, what did these little drips and drops of the Light and Sound God do for me?

If anything was happening, I certainly missed it at the time. I didn't get adventurous Soul Travel journeys (which probably would have scared me to death!). I didn't get a single mind-blowing, psychedelic experience.

I didn't feel any transformation at all.

Of course, now I realize I was doing everything possible to AVOID my spiritual perceptions -- mistakenly, for sure. And I spent very little time with it because I didn't like what I got.

Looking back, all that happened was a gradual, naturally-unfolding insight into my daily life. Often ideas would just pop into my head from nowhere -- didn't that happen to everybody? Also, there were these uplifting dreams quite often. And while reading the spiritual books, special meanings would seem to leap off the page at times. Strange coincidences happened.

In fact, lots of small things were happening in my life, expanding me in many unusual ways.

Today, I wouldn't trade a single one.

. . . All the world became light and a
strange humming sound entered into his heart,
giving him peace. . . .
--- Paul Twitchell, Stranger by the River

I'll try to share what I can of these things.
Please let me know if you've experienced anything like this.


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